Women With Guns

It is important that you know I'm writing this at my wife's suggestion.  Somewhere in my 35 years of marriage it became clear to me why God spoke wisdom with a woman's voice in Proverbs.  I have found myself more often the fool when Stephanie spoke and I failed to heed.

It wasn't my upbringing that taught me to ignore women.   My mother and grandmother were brilliant, college educated, western women, the defiant daughters of pioneers.  They owned rifles and knew how to use them.  They stood toe to toe with trespassers and enjoyed watching the smug disappear from just recently cocky faces.  (A 16 gauge shotgun is persuasive.)  I was raised by strong women married to strong men who raised strong children.

I am a baby boomer, a child of the sixties, raised in the shadow of San Francisco with the accompanying social revolution.  Everything around me taught me women could do anything a man could do.  Together we could stop a war.  And we did.  I didn't notice my modern culture telling me me women were weak or foolish or easily misled.

Me, and that is Grandma's rifle.

It wasn't until I became an evangelical christian in college that I learned all the things women couldn't do.  They couldn't teach men, at least in church or bible study.  They couldn't initiate, or at least they weren't supposed to.  They needed to be protected.  That confused me a little.  Would that mean I loaded Grandma's Winchester or just carried it for her?  And they needed to be ruled by men.  Really?  My dad was a coach and I grew up around locker rooms.  I knew way too much about men to have confidence in that last one.

And I married Stephanie.  Steph doesn't like guns.  She doesn't need one.  She has opinions, and a voice, and a massive brain.  In fact she's really good at lots of things I'm not.   We figured out how to raise kids and minister together, all the while secretly reveling in our quite rebellion against the dominant christian paradigm.  I prided myself in discovering the woman in Proverbs and listening to her voice.  I championed my daughters' and my wife's early successes, but was it tainted with the faint aroma of masculine charity?

"Just look at the little woman.  Isn't she precious!"

Ok. I would never say that... or even think it, but was I completely immune?   Hmmm.  There were those times when she spoke and I blew her off.  She warned and and I knew better.  Why?  How?  She raised kids and I studied Greek and read thick commentaries but she kept finding things I didn't, deep things, profound truths.  She connected dots I didn't even know were there.  If she couldn't teach men, how could she teach me so much?   If she was so good at it, why didn't I take advantage of her insights more often?  The problem with Stephanie was she was able to do all the things she "couldn't."

It has been a good thirty-five years.  I have grown.  I read her book suggestions.  (Carolyn Custis James is a current favorite).  I have done some interesting bible study on topics I thought I already knew. ("Helper" in Genesis 2:18 doesn't mean "sidekick" like in the movies.  You know, the funny guy riding the donkey behind the hero.  Think more like "the cavalry coming to the rescue.")

These days I listen to Stephanie's opinions with intensity rather than patience.  I watch her wisdom and try to imitate it.  I always respected her.  Now, every year, I respect her more.

And yes, she still looks good in that dress.  Gimme a break...I'm a guy!